You know what really grinds my gears?
The word can’t.
But before I explain why I hate that word, let me give you a bit of background.
As some of you know, I coach more than entrepreneurship, I also coach basketball.
The game of basketball has done a lot for me, so even when my playing days were over, I still wanted to be a part of the basketball world.
Anyway, enough about me.
As a coach, you have to know when to inspire you players, when to get on them to go harder, and when to have a gentle hand.
A lot of it is based off of feel for the moment (not just in games, but in practice)
However, nothing makes me lose sight of the bigger picture than when a player uses the word “can’t.”
Ya see, its was never a word that never sat well with me.
Even as a young player, when a coach told me that I couldn’t do something, it would drive me insane.
I would spend all of my effort trying to prove him wrong!
As a coach, it also drives me crazy, but not just because I need my players to always have a can-do attitude, but because, its an out right lie!
It doesn’t matter if I’m a player, or I’m a coach, hearing that word just tells me you have given up.
It tells me you don’t believe in yourself or in your abilities and more importantly, it also tells me you haven’t put in the work to get better!
All of these are sins in my church!
Now, I’m not saying to lie to yourself.
If you never done a specific task before, or you are learning a new skill, you wont be good at it right away.
But when you start adding cant to your vocabulary, you will limit your growth potential.
Also, what you really mean when you say cant is “not able to at a competent level at this time, but I will be able to soon.”
Please understand, the words we use are more powerful than you imagine.
Using cant has a psychological effect on you and your subconscious.
Its like you say it, and your mind makes it true.
As history have shown, there is no limit to human potential.
We went from living in caves, to straw or mud huts, to castles, and now sky scrappers made of glass, concrete and steel.
We went from looking up at the night sky, to sending rockets into the sky, to putting humans in space!
We went from learning to speak, to learning to write, to movable type, to the internet!
Nothing is impossible. Nothing is off limits for us.
We CAN achieve all things. We all have limitless potential!
So, dont you dare try to limit yourself, and dont try to limit others with your cant talk!
With that said, nothing happens instantly, things take time. you need to reprogram yourself. So, instead of cant, try to substitute it with these phrases:
Instead of “I cant do that” try “I am not able to do it yet, but I will be able to soon”
Instead of “You cant do that, its impossible” use “What you are attempting hasn’t been done yet…but i guess it is possible”
Or a favorite I use in coaching often
Instead of “you cant make that shot!” try “You haven’t shown me that you practiced that shot enough. Show me that you work on this shot, and I will allow you to shoot it when it counts”
(that last one always does the trick when my kids want to try to channel their inner Steph Curry, lol)
So, to bring it all home, when you say you cant, you are lying to me, and at the same time, lying to yourself...and since your subconscious doesn’t want to be a liar, it will try to make it true.
But in reality, the only way that can happen is if you quit.
Whatever it is, you CAN do it…now go and get it done!