I recently read an email by the Great Ben Settle (a genius email marketer)
Ya see, he came across a study by researchers at Azusa Pacific University and UC Merced about how a full 1/3 of the women they studied admitted to dating guys…
… just to get a free meal out of it.
Or, as the study called it:
“Foodie calls”
(+1 point for the clever name.)
Anyway, picture this:
You’re a naive guy who doesn’t know better.
You follow the typical bad advice you learned from:
1) your dumb-ass friends
2) The rom-com lies created by Hollywood
3) the “nice guy” and thirsty ass dudes. (they swear they have the secret to getting dates, lol)
Why?
Just so you can get some attention online, or maybe when you are out at a bar or club.
When you finally have the actual balls to ask a woman out on a date
(a real date, not just to hang out like this young dudes do now)
You make the classic mistake to take her to a nice dinner, and maybe go somewhere else after.
(I’ll tell you why this is a mistake at a later time)
The lady in question seems to have some romantic interest in you, so she agrees to go.
That is, after all, what dating is supposed to be, right?
Getting to know someone better to see if they are a good mate, FWB candidate, or just a platonic friend.
But this is where you, the chump, gets hoodwinked!
Your “date” was never at-all interested in you, or even found you attractive in the slightest.
All she wanted was a free shrimp scampi & strawberry Mojito and a night away out of the house!
Hell, she’s probably texting some other dude on the low while she sat thru your boring ass conversation and the free meal you are trying to bribe her with.
The thing is, that other dude that shes texting understands the game and plays it well.
He knows guys like you exist so, he lets you do all of those “nice guy date” type things.
He allows this to show the difference between he and guys like yourself.
All the while, he guards his time and attention.
He just uses his charm and whatever disposable resources to vet potential partners to see if they are worthy of his time…
Instead of ho’ing himself out for a lil attention or to put him in position for something to just magically happen.
He’s making sure he only surrounds himself with the type of people who will add value in his life.
That other guy will never be “foodie’d called”
He may never buy a date dinner ever in fact.
So, whats this really about, and what does it have to do with you making money?
Well, as Ben made me realize, this same phenomenon is going on in business too!
It happens especially to freelancers, coaches, and salesmen who cheerfully give a would-be client or customer all the goods for free! (or cheap)
I get it, because I’ve been guilty of that too.
I would see a prospect who seems eager to hire me, so like a chump I would give them my best ideas and advice for free…
I did that because I thought I had to show them I was such a great coach and “business genius!”
Ugh!
I was victim to that old falsehood that still floats around on the net…
As if a client thinks:
“if this is what they give me for free, I can’t want to see what I get as I start paying him”
While in reality they only think:
“wow, this is an awesome freebie!”
As they throw it on their virtual bookshelf to collect dust and never be used.
Sadly, while a few people who are more serious may think along those lines…
Most people are just freebie seekers who never intended to do business with you!
However, watch those same freebie seekers find a more experienced sales person, consultant or coach.
They are the people the freebie seeker seems to hire them on the spot, for much more money than you were gonna charge!
And this doesn’t just to “newbies”, either.
It even happens to so-called pros too.
And if this is something that happens to you — in business or otherwise — all it takes is making a few, pleasant changes to your inner game to remove that head trash that allows you to be like the chumps that get foodie’ d called.
This isn’t something that just gets “fixed” with time.
You need to change your mindset so that you see where your approach falls apart.
The point is, you don’t have to whore yourself out to get those low-level clients.
A few tweaks to realize that you need to guard your time and vet people properly can get you the types of people that you like in in your funnel!
All you gotta do is have the mindset:
“I have the solutions my prospects need, but will they be a good client? Will I want to work with them?”
When you keep that front of mind, you will be amazed at how you repel those you don’t like, and attract the ones you do.
You’re welcome!