I’m not really a fan of that term, and honestly, I thought it was a term coined by interment man-children who are angry they can’t get laid.
But boy was I wrong! I didn’t realize how sheltered I was.
It all started when I struck up a conversation with a lady the other day.
The conversation was a “hey, how are you? tell me more about yourself” type of convo.
Now picture this, a large, 41-year-old woman… and a self-described “fat ass” (she was not wrong!)
she told me about her dating troubles and a “bad” singles event she wants to recently.
When I asked about more details, she continued with “many people are just bad at conversations” and how people “just don’t get her” and how everyone else sucks, etc.
While I found that to be a little…odd (especially the fact she thinks people are bad at conversations) I was curious as to why she said those things.
I said “Conversations is the easy part! The hard part is getting the confidence to make a move at the right time”
So of course, the conversation naturally drifted toward men and how many men aren’t good in the sack.
I said “it’s not all of their fault, men are expected to be good at something, but in many circles aren’t allowed to talk about it…but many men are selfish in bed”
Side note: I have a solution in the works for this problem… I’m going to write book on the subject if the market wants it.
(Let me know if this will be something you would be interested in!)
She went on to say (ill paraphrase here) how “men are so fascinated with the vagina but know nothing about it!”
Right then I was like, “Yes! exactly, like how can you be so into it and not understanding what you like” (or something else that was very similar to what she said)
I said that because its exactly how I felt.
That’s when she said “don’t mansplain this to me”
My face said “WTF???” but my words said “um, okay, I was just agreeing with you”
She continues “agreeing with me is to just have some sort of affirmative phrase, not explaining my words back to me” (again, I’m paraphrasing)
At that point, I knew why she found conversations from others so difficult, and why she’s 41 and alone.
This is the first lesson!
Whatever problem you are having, its never the market or others, its always yourself.
You are either not giving value to the marketplace (in her case, the dating pool) or you are sending the wrong message.
Either way, you end up with no sales (and for her, no dates)
If the market is “that bad” then go into a different market…don’t just bitch and complain about it.
Anyway, getting back to the conversation, my instinct was to go off on her, or maybe argue/debate her, but I realized that would be a giant waste of time.
This is someone I def don’t want to have in my life in any capacity.
She’s also not in a place where she would even listen…she thinks she knows it all.
So, I said “hmmm okay. I didn’t mean to offend, my apologies”
she just replies “okay” and not in a “its all good, lets move on” way, but in a judgmental way.
That’s when I had enough and said “well, that went south fast. Looks like we won’t get along well. Thanks for the convo, and good luck finding whatever you are looking for”
and I ended the conversation
I didn’t even wait to hear her reply…but I did hear something about “this is why I only like to deal with feminist”
If I wasn’t irritated before, that last comment had me heated!
This is the 2nd lesson in this story, and we both did that in our 3 min conversation.
In business and marketing, you want to repel people that are not like you!
No matter what you do, not everyone will agree with you or like you.
It’s useless trying to get everyone to do so.
Some believe if you aren’t offending people, you are just irrelevant and forgettable.
I see the wisdom in this, but not sure if i would go that far, lol.
But point taken…Go and try making sales being irrelevant in the marketplace.
See how many sales you will make.
On the flip side People who are like you are more likely to resonate with your message and buy your products.
The ones who are not like you, won’t…. they won’t see the value in what you are offering.
There’s no need to waste time with people who will never understand you, like you, or trust you.
Focus on those who get you, and you will get a very loyal following that will defend you to your haters and buy whatever you sell (if it’s a quality product)
this is how you build a sustainable business and brand.
So, there ya have it, the 2 lessons I learned from a feminazi.
Oh, a bonus lesson…and stay away from false “feminist” as in women who just hate life and blame men.
The real feminist are the men and women who fight for equality, and women’s rights.